Dance performance “Apnea”
“The first inhalation – it is me, alive. Sometimes alive, but dead. I forget to take a deeper breath. I have seizures, suffocation, lack of air. I once tried to suffocate. Do not breathe. As I held my breath, I felt how limited and boundless I was, how I was pulsing and beating. I learned not to breathe only when I wanted to. And when I breathe, I try to feel the breath. I just try to feel it. ”
Respiratory arrest (gr. apnea) – is the axis of this dance performance. Apnea in water or on land, in a state of sleep or wakefulness, conscious or suddenly occurring. The latter brings turmoil into life, and when done deliberately, on the contrary, it creates an opportunity to deviate from the acute reality. In water apnea, the body seems to be suppressed, somewhat “asleep”, vital functions slow down, the circulatory system redistributes, the mind calms down: you hear your heart – the pulse, later – even this is gone. Following the silent signals of the body in the depths of the water, holding one’s breath, one feels another space-time: the depths of the bodylessness and the soul. Terrestrial apnea learns from water apnea: how to keep on when you can no longer breathe, how to realize your vividness and learn to regulate breathing so that respiratory arrest is my choice, not an unexpected element. Sleep apnea is a disorder in which the human body, when it stops breathing, is constantly knocked out of a dream into a mode of reality – do not forget to breathe! And finally … the last inhalation and eternal respiratory arrest – through the dance with the very toes of the feet touching the apnea of death.